Most of my life I struggled with confidence and self-esteem. Coming from a family with a very demanding mother plus being the youngest of five girls and myself being a twin, I never felt that I WAS SPECIAL IN ANYWAY. Following my childhood I spent 27 years in a difficult marriage and after the death of my first husband, I was drained, my mental and physical energy left, “it was gone”. That is when I took a sabbatical from my counseling, concerts and lectures. I needed to renew myself and get back what I had left behind for so many years, “self-confidence and self-esteem”. It took me a long time to realize that confidence and self-esteem is something you learn and earn while being challenged with life’s situations and how you respond to those situations. Sometimes in our lives we have things that happen that we wish hadn’t. Hebrews 11:1 says “Faith is the confidence that we hope for, will actually happen.”

We all have some guilt from events in our lives. Our insecurities unwillingly provides fodder for others to make our past mistakes a current affair. Most of us have things we want to forget. Wish they had never happened. However, you have to start the healing process for yourself. The past cannot be erased however; the future is yours to control.

In my counseling sessions I have told clients if you continue to look back you won’t be able to pursue your dreams. You will always be comparing what you are doing now to your past. You do not have to put up with abuse, intimidation, or self doubt. Some people will go out of their way to find something that creates fear and doubt in others. Abraham Lincoln made this statement, “Look for the good in people, because if you look for the bad you will surely find it.” If you continue to look for the bad in yourself and find nothing, you will create something in your mind. That is when the cycle will start all over again. IT HAS TO START WITH YOU! It will not happen overnight. So ask yourself, “What have I left behind?” Or better yet, “what am I willing to leave behind?”

Make a list of things that you need to work on. Sometimes when you write things down and see them in front of you they are not as intimidating as you thought. Cross them out as you conquer and achieve personal freedom. Say to yourself, “I went through that and it is in the past.” Learn from your mistakes. Some will be tougher than others. Some will challenge you to your inner dept. GIVE YOURSELF A GOOD MENTAL CLEANSING. Make yourself accountable to what you left behind. There will always be someone or something to tempt you or remind you as if to say, “remember when?” Pull your shoulders back and stand tall. Be an example for others. What a wonderful personal accomplishment to show a good example for someone to follow. Anything can be conquered if you set your mind to it. Work at finishing strong, leaving temptation behind. Challenge yourself to be as good as you can be, at anything you dream to do. There will be failures and setbacks, just brush them off and use them as stepping stones and start again, and again, and again….but NEVER EVER give up. Success is not measured in material objects but in the accomplishments you have made and the type of person you have become. The material things will come as you achieve success.

Take better care of yourself, mentally and physically, and become your own person. Being you won’t be a job but an exciting adventure. Sometines it isn’t the end results but the journey that makes the person.