I received an e-mail last week from an individual who earns seven figures, has everything except parental approval. This individual although well loved and respected by everyone around him/her, is no longer willing to live due to parental related favoritism issues. You see, the parents favor the two older siblings merely because they are physically good looking.
This is a problem most therapists face in sessions, a prevalent negative parenting style that set siblings against siblings besides setting (both the favored and unfavored) children themselves up for future failure and self-sabotage. Carl Pickhardt, PH.D (Psychology Today Published on March 7, 2011) indicated that parental favoritism “at first, sounds like a game, “playing favorites,” but really it’s too serious for play. In the family, when parents have a favorite child it can create a lasting impact on less favored children and on the favorite child as well.“ To read full article use the link below. (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/surviving-your-childs-adolescence/201103/adolescence-and-parental-favoritism) Majority of the favored children became self-centered, arrogant, selfish, instructive and obstructive. The unfavored child becomes self-destructive, often engaging in self-sabotage. When stressed, the unfavored child can draw from the survival skills developed over the years to move forward. How? High level managerial positions are not only sensitive but extremely stressful. Differences in ideology at this level results in painful exchange, disapprovals of managerial style similar to parental favoritism. How can high level managerial personnel use parental favoritism to their advantage to improve productive and output and take the company to higher productivity.
How does lack of parental approval, open favoritism and parental judgmental behaviors result in self-sabotage for an individual in management level for the unfavored or favored child in management level in stressful situations? Often, inferences are made by others that reminds the CEO, president of future 500 or others in positions of the negativity of parental disapproval that may result in self-sabotage, self-failures and self-defect as similar experience pop up unexpectedly in developmental meetings. In a situation that such individual has no power over as in the initial illustration above. How should such individual react, reach out positively as a person in power and avoid self-sabotage by tuning into and using parental favoritism positively as a drive for success?