The changes involved with sadness then depression are overwhelming for anybody and that includes teens. The ability to gather the energy to execute an idea or plan seems almost impossible even the plan to kill themselves can seem so big until it is the sole thought that they invest all their energy in. They are too weak to ask for help. They are too weak to recognize there is hope. Your fearless approach to their depression can reassure your teen that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Eminem’s Going Through Changes
Why do I act like I’m all high and mighty,
When inside, I’m dying, I am finally realizing I need help.
I can’t do it by myself, too weak, 2 weeks I’ve been having ups and downs,
Going through peaks and valleys, dilly dallying,
Around with the idea, of ending the s**t right here.
This pain can become so unbearable they think about hurting themselves, then want to seriously hurt themselves. Never confuse what this desperate act means. They want the pain to end. They almost never want their lives to end. They don’t understand they can end the pain without ending their lives. They may not realize this until they have started the attempt. There is a lot to suggest that soon after jumping, taking the medication, hearing the train coming people regret their decision, “What did I just do?” It’s the pain. If the pain could stop and there could just be some joy. They would want to stay.
I think I should state a few facts, Cause I may not get a chance again to say the truth.
S**t it just hit me that what if I would notta made it through?
I think about the things I would never got to say to you,
I’d never get to make it right, so here’s what I came to do.
Your teen needs your hope and your maturity. They need to understand that there is a better way. Not in a pollyana way by the way, as Eminem says, When it rains/yes it pours/yes it does. It can seem like that. You just keep getting hit until you can’t get up, but that is your teen’s job…to figure out with your support how to get up. Imagine who they will be when they get through this major valley.
Your teen is going to go through changes and if calculations are right it may first occur in middle school. Watch them like a hawk at this time, like a hawk! If either parent suffered from depression then there should absolutely be a keen sensitivity to this change in mood. It is so consistent their first battle with depression it knocks them on their butt. They don’t know what it is. Their friends will not understand it, they are too young, but watch them and get help. They will make it through. Please give them the light at the end of the tunnel.