“So, I just need to learn to relax!” Ivan stated. “Really?” I asked incredulously. This brief moment of conversation came about half way through our coaching session. Ivan was sharing with me that he plans to take a sabbatical from his job as a Managing Director of a medium size Silicon Valley corporation. He wants to transition into work that is more fulfilling and less stressful. The sabbatical is supposed to be a time for him to find himself and hopefully lead to some creative ideas for more meaningful employment. Ivan described what those three months off will look like;
My motorcycle crash showed me that more people than I ever dreamed are living with limitations and with broken dreams. The beautiful thing is that since disabilities and shattered hope are such common phenomena, solutions, or ways to keep one’s attitudepositive in these circumstances are also quite common. The following situation involves the comfort found in relating to other people who happen to wake from comas to find themselves in similar circumstances.
The rehab journey following my motorcycle crash showed me that more people than I ever dreamed are living with limitations and with broken dreams. The beautiful thing is that since disabilities and shattered hope are such common phenomena, solutions, or ways to keep one’s attitude positive in these circumstances are also quite common. The following story involves the comfort found in relating to other people who happen to wake from comas to find themselves in similar circumstances.
They aren’t lazy they just don’t want to do it. If they were ill with swine flu and their cell phone was across the room, if you didn’t come get the phone for them, they would crawl across the floor and get their phone, or video game or computer, whatever as long as it interested them. The issue is what you are asking them to do is not fun for them. Sure, this is called being selfish, but not lazy. Teens generally avoid things that hamper their idea of a good time. They are wired at this point in life
The on again off again periods of counseling immediatly following my crash, together with the past 30 years of rehabilitation, taught me four strategies for living with limitations. A primary goal of the counselling seemed to be to teach me strategies focusing on how to live with limitations without feeling limited. Among the most important things I remember learning in counselling and in life are: 1. “I can’t think my way into a new way of living, I have to live my way into a new way of thinking.” 2. “Time takes Time.” 3. “I’m not in control of my life. How can I be in control when I don’t
1. “Don’t over think Attitude. I can’t think my way into a new Attitude, I have to live my way into a new Attitude.”
2. “Be patient. Time takes Time.”
An important dynamic that can occur in families is the “problem child.” This is the teen that always seem to be in trouble. The entire family seems to be stepping one foot back from this family member because they’re giving the family a “bad name.” In truth, this teen in the family has been shown to really be the town crier. The town crier or the problem child is the teen who is more sensitive than others in the family and feels the family dynamic more personally. They’re not able to shrug it off and act as if nothing is
“They don’t make their bed. Can you do something about that doc?” Ummm…Did you happen to notice your teen is failing out of school and looks completely depressed? Really, who cares if their bed is made? Sometimes you’re so overwhelmed by the real problem you pick what seems like a very easy problem to fix like making the bed. The problem is that a depressed teen doesn’t care if their bed is made or not and they’re sitting there watching you scream and yell for what is for all intents and purposes a nonissue. “Worry” in parenting should be like
Why all this attention to attitude? Up until a week before my 19th birthday, I would have wondered the same thing. At that point, the importance of attitude was still something left for me to discover. As a teenager, I had a fun, enthusiastic and gung ho attitude. And why not? I had the kind of life, job, friends, car, motorcycle, ski equipment and girlfriend/fiancé most teenagers would have loved. When all that disappeared in the years following my motorcycle crash, I had to work with what I had left. I mentioned in earlier posts being drawn
Why all this attention to Attitude?