Life is easier when we control our own Attitudes!
Attitude control is the ultimate freedom. Lack of Attitude control is a self constructed prison. th occasional setbacks. My emotional reactions gradually became socially acceptable a number of years ago. Until then, controlling my emotional reactions seemed impossible.
From what I could tell, voc rehab was designed to get free labor out of people with disabilities. Having me count and label medical supplies, everything from catheters to syringes wasn’t giving me any marketable skills but it was eliminating the need for the hospital to pay someone else to do it.
I sigh disgustedly at my current situation, but I’m grateful that I’m no longer stuck in a wheelchair. Feeling a cross between disgust and gratitude, I lean back against the metal pole at one end of the glass and metal bus stop. The bus home should be along any minute.
It’s cloudy and the streets are wet, but it’s not raining, a typical November afternoon. Two men in business suits a real pretty woman in nice clothes, a heavy set, middle aged woman in some kind of dark green what could be a janitorial uniform are also waiting .
She looks at me. I smile and nod. Her expression doesn’t change.
I smile at the pretty woman. “Hi,” she says.
“Can you spare some change?”
I look toward the business men and see a young man who can apparently walk and talk as well as anybody else asking for a free handout.
What? I just spent four hours counting catheters in a program that was supposedly desighed to help me be ready to one day go back to work, and this guy wants something for nothing?
Of course I don’t know the apparent business men’s situation, or the situation of the panhandler. But for some reason, I feel an overpowering urge to interrupt and control the situation.
“Forget it!” I bark in my speech impaired voice, stepping toward the surprised trio before the business men had a chance to respond to the panhandler. Trying to ignore my protestations, the panhandler repeated his request, but he had underestimated the depth of my feelings on the subject. By this time, I was right beside him.
My indignation told me I was right about raising my objection, but looking back at the situation, I think my self pity regarding my current situation was speaking for me.
My feelings regarding my circumstances ran deep and so when the panhandler moved to the next person in line, I followed. “Quit asking for free money,” I told him.
Again he moved, but I was like one of those little ankle biter dogs. I wouldn’t let him be. Finally he gave up and went in search of an easier location.
“Thanks,” the well dressed woman said. Because of the positions of the folks at the bus stop, the panhandler would have approached her next.
Her thanking me made me feel good, but if the same incident were to happen today, I wouldn’t feel the same need to interfere with the panhandler’s program. I would do what I can to keep someone from kidnapping or hurting a kid or someone else, but trying to control what someone else does, for no reason other than to inflict my sense of right or wrong on them, requires more energy than I’m currently willing to exert for no point whatsoever.
Life is best when I control my Attitude and let you control yours.