MVP Seminars Blogs

I'm not much of a fighter. When I was a child, my dad taught me that if someone hits you, hit them back but never be the one to throw the first punch. In essence, only fight back when you have to defend yourself. My mom's message was taken from Luke 6:29 and contradicted Dad's: "If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them." Her voice resonated the strongest with me and for the better part of my life I'd walk away from any confrontation whether physical or verbal. During my childhood, there was a girl who frequently bullied me. I continually walked away from her but she was relentless. One day, I told my older sister who took up my cause. She grabbed the girl by the hair and told her to leave me alone. She never bothered me again.   With the exception of protecting myself in a domestic violence relationship, I have never engaged in physical conflict in my life. And while my typical style of confrontation was one of silence, I have since become more comfortable with engaging in disputes of a verbal nature. While I refuse to participate in an ugly or hostile discussion, I can now more easily verbally defend what I believe in. Mankind is often quick and eager to fight. A sense of arrogance and entitlement has lessened one's ability to be patient, has classified some as unworthy of being treated with respect and dignity, and supports the belief that the self should have what they want even at the expense of others. People also have a lower tolerance level than ever before and in many instances seek every opportunity to incite an argument or fight in an attempt to assert power and dominance over others. None of these are a spiritually valid reason for fighting.   There is a time and place for everything and one needs to know when it is best to follow my Mom's and Luke's advice to simply walk away and when one needs to stand up for justice as recommended in Isaiah 1:17 "Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed. Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow." Keep in mind, that when I speak of fighting, I am in no way referring to physical altercations, the destruction of property, or nasty, hateful verbal assaults or threats of any kind. The key to successfully defending one's person or position and seeking righteous justice (that is, according to Divine Law) is knowing when it's appropriate to stand tall and when it's best to let things be as they are. Having a proper set of communication and negotiating skills is essential as well. Here are some guidelines: WHEN TO FIGHT: You are defending those incapable of protecting themselves. The issue is serious and will not resolve itself or will escalate if not addressed. There is severe and real harm being perpetrated against yourself or another. The offense is in violation of God's law; it is a moral issue. To remain silent allows evil to prosper. "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." - Sir Edmund Burke WHEN TO NOT: No one is being harmed physically, emotionally, or psychologically. The only thing bruised is your ego. You have a personal vendetta against the other party. You are seeking revenge. Romans 12:19 "beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of god, for it is written, “vengeance is mine, i will repay, says the lord.” The issue will resolve itself. There is a serious risk that getting involved will only escalate matters. The issue will not matter in ten years. It's none of my business or the other party can handle it themselves. There is only a perception of harm, not a real and valid threat. The issue is not one of a moral nature.   Keep in mind, that humans are known for making mountains out of molehills; for making matters appear far more serious than they are; for seeking to exert dominance over others. If any of these are your motives for getting involved in an exchange of ideas (I hesitate to use the word fight for it's generally accepted definition of a physical altercation or an extremely heated debate) I strongly advise reassessing the situation and finding an alternative course of action. However, if you reasons are to stand up for what you truly believe is morally right, then by all means pursue your decision to address the issue.   Let me reiterate: in the beginning I stated that "for the better part of my life I'd walk away from any confrontation". My choice of words accurately reflects my beliefs: life is consistently better when one chooses to not fight. (Did you notice that I listed twice as many reasons to not fight?) Therefore, be discreet: carefully and righteously evaluate each situation before becoming involved. Know when it is in your best interest, as well as the other party's, to simply let things be as they are. If intervention is essential, carefully choose your attitude and approach, motives and methods for they will certainly determine the outcome and lasting effects of your efforts.   Q: The goal of the righteous is to bring a peaceful and fair resolution to each situation for all those concerned.     Order The Secret Side of Anger, Second Edition or The Great Truth @ http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html   Listen to past shows on iHeart Radio @ http://ow.ly/OADTf Listen to my newest iHeart Radio show, BETWEEN YOU AND GOD, @ http://ow.ly/OADJK Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Google+
Read More →

TOOL KIT: R.O.P.E.S.:  A must have simple tool for being Proactive It’s easy to be reactive when something happens at work.   Dr. Covey,  author of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has as the first Habit:  BE PROACTIVE. He asserts that being proactive “means more than merely taking initiative.  It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. “ Think about this: “When you choose your actions you choose your consequences!  Imagine if every consequence, positive or negative, that we experience is a direct result of actions we choose. QUOTE: “How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”   Dr. Wayne Dyer TOOL:  Try this tool next time before you respond to a challenging situation: Examine each of the below: R:  elationships O:  utcome or goal desired P:  ersonalities E:  xpectations S:  ituation MORE DETAIL: R:   Consider the relationships among the people involved.  Is it a long-term working relationship or a one time client. O:  Outcome desired or goal for the situation.  What is your goal, what is a win-win for all parties.  Lon-term and short-term benefits of the outcome desired. P: Personalities of the different people involved.  Each person may need to be addressed in a different way. E:  People enter into a situation with expectations. They are satisfied or dissatisfied based on whether or not their expectations are met.  (tip:  positively and authentically address expectations even when they cannot be met) S:  Let the situation, context and circumstances guide your actions. Try it and send me an email to let me know if this helps!!!   Jill Scala    trainerprep@yahoo.com MVP Seminars to book an event
Read More →

Parenting is a difficult full time job without any break, vacation, recess or retirement package. The retirement benefit is raising responsible children that contribute positively to the community and society at large. Raising caring, loving responsible children involve lots of sleepless nights, parental involvement, several follow up, parental skills understanding and keen listening ability on the part of the parents. It also means parents most be prepare to intervene and not give in to their children merely because they are feeling guilt. Parental involvement means minimal neglect of your children, letting your children know how much you love them. Ensuring that your children do not accuse you of abandonment or loving your career more than you love them. Without a happy family and responsible children, parents become stressful, children are stressed out and parents suffer even more as their effectiveness become questionable on the job. These stresses translate into low job performance, lack of communication, and easy conflict with other co-workers resulting in lost productivity.        
Read More →

The pendulum clock was invented by Christiaan Huygens (1629-1695).  In his great book "Horologium Oscillatorium" published in 1673 he discusses pendulum clocks among other topics.  Don Colbert, M.D. writes of Huygens, "One day as he lay in bed, staring at his clock collection on the other side of the room, he noticed that all of the pendulums were swinging in unison, even though he knew with certainty they hadn't started out that way.  Huygens got out of bed and restarted the pendulums, purposefully setting them at different times to break the synchronized rythm.  To his amazement, in fairly short order, the pendulums began swinging together again."

Later, scientists discovered that it was the largest clock with the strongest rhythm that was pulling the other pendulums into sync with itself.  They gave this phenomenon the name "entrainment, " which is apparent throughout nature. Entrainment means to pull or to draw along after itself.  Think of the power of the principle of entrainment in the workplace.  In an article entitled "Microinequities:  When Small Slights Lead to Huge Problems in the Workplace," Eric C. Hinton wrote:

"A microinequity is defined as a subtle message, sometimes subconscious, that devalues, discourages and ultimately impairs performance in the work place.  These messages can take the shape of looks, gestures or even tones.  The cumulative effect of microinequitites often leads to damaged self-esteem and eventually, withdrawl from co-workers in the office."

It is precisely this behavior that seeks to derail positive entrainment in the work environment and therefore may become very costly for a company in terms of productivity and human resources. Companies that have actively sought to address microinequities understand that providing cultural awareness of and appreciation of others for who they are creates positive entrainment toward the most powerful bioethical osicialltor within the workplace: The common good of all.
Read More →

In my capacity as a leadership coach I’ve been working with Hank, an executive in a Fortune 500 company who has been embroiled in a dispute with a particular associate for the past few weeks. The associate, we’ll call him Tom, is somewhat passive and resistant. When he feels like working he’s on top of his game and works harder and longer than any one of his team members. However, when he doesn’t feel like working, he rationalizes and justifies for not fulfilling his agreements. The more he is pushed to fulfill the less he does. Yesterday, Hank confronted Tom about the lack of progress he was making on a particular report that was long overdue. Such conversations are always frustrating and disappointing to Hank. He has an expectation, as we all do, that people say what they mean and mean what they say. When they don’t, and when Hank has to bring people to task, well, it makes him want to yell criticisms be sarcastic and darn right cruel! He doesn’t want to shame and guilt people with his comments; it just happens! I spoke with Hank after the confrontation with Tom. “I expect grownups to act like grownups, especially when they have been hired to be responsible in highly significant ways. How am I supposed to talk to adults that act like adolescents? What am I suppose to expect? Though Hank was angry, he and I had to figure out a way to move forward from here with bad feelings and distance still between Tom and himself. Hank explained: “I’ve been in partnerships with passive and resistant individuals before, and generally I’ve found myself in a stalemate. Ignoring the behavior doesn’t work, nor does attempting to control or manipulate – all of those ways of being that are disrespectful and degrading but seem to be the only way to get some action. I hate this part of my job!” Then, there was a long pause. Hank was chewing on something in his mind. Then he said “I just heard these words inside my head: Always leave them with their dignity. What’s that suppose to mean?” Hank began to share that he wasn’t raised with this philosophy; in fact his dad took liberty with his autocratic and dictatorial leadership style. He shamed and humiliated his children and rarely acknowledged them for a job well done. By the time Hank left home to go to college it was hard for him to imagine that he had anything to offer the world. The best he could hope for was to make it through college, get a job and not expect much more. “Fortunately, once I was out of reach of my dad I began to excel and here I am today. I still don’t feel great about myself but I do my work and people respect me. Maybe that’s as good as it gets.” Choosing how to be a Leader Regardless of education and training, my experience is that we choose our leadership styles primarily from the experience of being around those who were our leaders; most often our parents, teachers, ministers and coaches. The interpretations we choose based on our experiences have us decide how to be a leader and how to be with a leader. As Hank considered meeting with Tom this morning, he and I rehearsed the conversation that was about to take place. Even though he and Tom came to an understanding in the confrontation the day before, Hank was resistant to let things be, let the waters be calm and return to his normal, friendly style of leading. There was a part of him that wanted to assert a position of, superiority, of righteousness, perhaps finding opportunities to make a comment or two that would shame Tom and make him feel bad – nothing too obvious, of course; just a little remark to let him know Hank wasn’t going to let him off the hook. I was curious and questioned Hank’s motives for being less then compassionate. He shared that he sensed that there would be something he’d lose by not making a jab or two. As we talked, he imagined letting go of making these jabs and immediately felt the hurt and agony of being a child shamed and stripped of dignity by his father and his football coach. He was surprised that these emotions were underneath his more aggressive style with Tom. He also felt that the salve for this agony was to shame others, like Tom, just a little bit. “For some reason, this makes me feel more powerful and takes away the sadness. Why is that?” Dignity is an essential and core quality of our humanity. It gives each of us a sense of being valuable to the world and to oneself, and without it we come to feel disheartened, demoralized and depressed. In Management, it’s not uncommon to unconsciously strip away other people’s dignity through comments that shame, ridicule or embarrass. Like Hank, by stripping away the dignity of others it perhaps salves the wounds of our own loss of dignity, if only for the moment. As Hank was finding out for himself, if he truly wanted to be an empowering leader he needed to be willing to reveal to himself his own wounds. He would also come to see the choice-making process that occurred because of the woundings that suffered as a child. Hank remarked “I need to do this so as to choose differently. I want to practice being a leader in a way that empowers people and perhaps even add to their dignity. That feels really hard to do right now – eliminating the desire to pinch away people’s dignity. Man! I didn’t realize how things like this get passed on so unconsciously.” Fifty Ways to Shame the Other In a transformational course of training I facilitate, leaders are given opportunities to cultivate awareness of who they be and how they be in the role of leader. Through this process each leader comes to realize that too often their leadership style is based on some form of engagement that is disempowering as opposed to empowering. They realize that by letting go of a shame-based model of leadership their employees’ morale begins to rise; communication begins to open, which results in a more collaborative and effective environment. Every day, there are hundreds of opportunities to empower and disempower others. Whether with our employees, partners, friends or children, every gesture or word is delivered with the intention to give or take away dignity. Think about it! We are all capable of being disempowering and we are all capable of being empowering. I encourage you to notice how you choose to choose to be empowering or disempowering. Explore for yourself what it is like for you to be the recipient of leadership styles that feel disempowering to you; Explore with a coach or thinking partner what would support you in shifting so as to always leave your employees with their dignity.
Read More →

Conflicts don't start in a vacuum.  And they won't end in one either. Because that is true, there is much more that goes into conflict resolution, than coming to the table with a win-win agenda. We've been taught that business is business and personal is personal.  But it isn't so.  And it never was.  That's a myth.  We've been in denial.  And the evidence of that fact is everywhere around us as we watch and engage in all manner of dysfunctional so-called business interactions every day. What is true about conflict resolution is that conflicts are resolved with effective relationship skills.   And effective relationship skills--like any other skill--are learned.  Most of us have learned ineffective relationship skills in a social milieu in which everyone relates based on the dysfunctional models they saw at home.  And while we can’t undo the past, we can certainly learn to correct the present-day interactions in both personal and business dynamics. What will be learned in my Conflict Resolution seminars and keynote addresses, therefore, has to do with not only how to resolve a conflict once it has begun, but also how to maintain such resolution through the learning of effective team dynamics.  Here are some of the topics that will be covered:
  • What am I responsible for in a dynamic interaction?
  • How do I define my problem?
  • Is it you or is it me?
  • Who’s on first?
  • What does “win-win” really mean?
  • Can we talk?
  • Can we hear?
  • R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
  • Perception—one eye open.
  • The driving force of negotiation.
  • Reaching agreement.
  • Maintaining the resolution.
My workshops, seminars and keynote addresses are designed to meet YOUR needs.
Read More →

Conflicts don't start in a vacuum.  And they won't end in one either. Because that is true, there is much more that goes into conflict resolution, than coming to the table with a win-win agenda. We've been taught that business is business and personal is personal.  But it isn't so.  And it never was.  That's a myth.  We've been in denial.  And the evidence of that fact is everywhere around us as we watch and engage in all manner of dysfunctional so-called business interactions every day. What is true about conflict resolution is that conflicts are resolved with effective relationship skills.   And effective relationship skills--like any other skill--are learned.  Most of us have learned ineffective relationship skills in a social milieu in which everyone relates based on the dysfunctional models they saw at home.  And while we can’t undo the past, we can certainly learn to correct the present-day interactions in both personal and business dynamics. What will be learned in my Conflict Resolution seminars and keynote addresses, therefore, has to do with not only how to resolve a conflict once it has begun, but also how to maintain such resolution through the learning of effective team dynamics.  Here are some of the topics that will be covered:
  • What am I responsible for in a dynamic interaction?
  • How do I define my problem?
  • Is it you or is it me?
  • Who’s on first?
  • What does “win-win” really mean?
  • Can we talk?
  • Can we hear?
  • R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
  • Perception—one eye open.
  • The driving force of negotiation.
  • Reaching agreement.
  • Maintaining the resolution.
My workshops, seminars and keynote addresses are designed to meet YOUR needs.
Read More →

From Aline, Montreal, Quebec, Canada Dear Dr. Rosie, I’m always amazed at what you bring to your column. You touch the heart and soul of who we are under all the layers of doing what we do, in our lives and in our work. For eight years I’ve been a director for a medium sized company. I see so much more potential for the company and for the people who work here. I want to practice being more authentic and present with my direct reports. I want to leave them with dignity. I want to practice being open, engaged and to communicate in ways that support people and the company to orient itself towards creating an environment that empowers our human resource as opposed to depleting and degrading it. But I’m afraid I’ll come across as weak, vulnerable and will lack leadership. I’d appreciate anything you can share. Thanks again, Aline ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ From Dr. Rosie Dear Aline, I so admire your willingness to step into your convictions to potentially transform your company. Engaging individuals with authenticity and presence can provide some pretty interesting possibilities – ones you cannot plan for or anticipate. They will challenge you to be true to yourself, to your integrity and to what it is you are wanting – to create a work environment that is honoring to your human resource. I acknowledge your heart-felt passion to make a difference – enough to perhaps face some aspects of yourself that may fear to tread where others have yet to go. I so appreciate your commitment to cultivating more awareness around this aspect of your company’s culture and the humanity that runs the company. Get comfortable with being confronted because you already are being confronted. With every new experience comes the possibility to become conscious and develop new skills in yourself and your organization. It’s what you are asking of your direct reports and it’s what I’m asking of you. I like your willingness to explore what it is that stops you, what confronts you. By confronting I mean something other than fights and arguments, though these are possible too. I’m talking to that experience within you, when in the midst of an action that is in alignment with this intention to empower, something stops you. Your direct report says something or a thought crosses your mind, and all of a sudden you experience an abrupt change of direction in the conversation, like putting your engine in reverse to avoid going over an abyss. The thoughts that arose reflect some interpretations you have about that which just surfaced. It brings up those core truths that we don’t want anyone to find out or decide about us. Our survival mechanisms kick into gear and we’ve left our best intentions in the dust. What is it, Aline that you usually do when you are confronted? What is your normal come-from or be-with when the going gets tough? And, how are you being that is in support of your intention to be effective as a transformational director and leader? It is important to cultivate awareness around what you do and how you be when confronted. The reason is that, if what you do when confronted is get angry and controlling; retreat or resist, withdraw or withhold, then in any conversation, with any one, actually, you’ll be avoiding the very instant that creates a shift, a change, or transformation. What’s required in these very moments is a stretching beyond the limitations of fear-based intentions and thoughts into a conversation that is a dream come true. I’m not kidding. These moments, these conversations, where you stay true to your intention to make a difference, are exhilarating. They can be the most fulfilling, rewarding and effective moments of your day. You accomplished what you set out to do. That’s transformation in action. For most of us, our context around confrontation has it be scary, anxiety provoking, maybe even dangerous. If your context around confrontation is not positive you’ll not only let yourself off the hook but you’ll let your company and people off the hook too, when they are confronted. This doesn’t serve anyone! As an executive and leadership coach I had to shift my own interpretations about confrontation if I were to be of any real support and value to my clients. Now, confrontations are conversations that have the capacity to deepen understanding and deepen relationships. My client may react to me in ways that I don’t like, but I don’t have to give into my fears, my anxiety and those strategies that say “Run, Rosie, Run! By staying intentional with my desire to stay authentic and be honoring and respectful of everyone, I allow an opening to a new way of being. This new way of being feels strong, grounded and very intentional. I’m far more present to what my client needs from me as a thinking partner. That’s what I’m getting paid for; nothing less! In your writing Aline, you are clear about your intention to shift your way of being as a leader and director. In a situation that feels confronting your intentions can shift to avoiding the whole darn, situation. Without being clear of your intention to lead and direct from a more authentic and honoring position, you will not develop the capacity to be with your company and its employees in ways that best serves them. Without cultivating awareness you will stay unwilling to think outside your current comfort zone and that of your company. Without presence you will not be attending to your direct reports or to your inner voices that support you in being empowering in ways you’ve yet to dream of; and, without intentional listening and speaking you won’t be able to facilitate a dialog with them that supports and encourages stretching themselves into their fullest potential. I believe the best leaders are those who, when confronted, can remember their deepest intention to lead with the wholeness of their heart and mind toward the fulfillment of the greatest potential of those they serve. I see you, Aline as one of these leaders. Thank you for exercising the muscles of transformational leadership. Blessings, Dr. Rosie Author of Self-Empowerment 101
Read More →

Life doesn't always turn out the way we'd like. When situations take an unfavorable turn, we become upset, frustrated, or angry. When others don't agree with us, live their life the way we think they should, or act in a manner we find disturbing, anger is a typical response. With the exception a few extreme circumstance, an angry reaction rarely improves the situation or endears us to the other party. For the most part, humans have very strong opinions about how life should be, how others should behave, and about what circumstances should occur and how they should eventually conclude. We expect a certain outcome that aligns with our beliefs or with the efforts we put forth. When situations don't progress or end according to our plans we experience angst as to how the outcome will affect us and/or those we care about. For example, the recent presidential election has a portion of the country frightened and angry about what the future holds with our new president. Unpredictable weather on our wedding day causes concern for the overall success and enjoyment of our special day. In another regard, we are quick to complain when an individual is not behaving way we want them to or the way we think they should be. This anger evolves when we label and judge people based on our criteria of what we believe to be right regarding their attitudes, beliefs, behaviors, life-style choices, etc. A harsh assessment of the other party leads to harsh feelings as well. (Thoughts create feelings.) When anger arises in these areas it's an indication that frustration or fear is lurking beneath: frustration that we cannot control our circumstances and fear as to how that situation will impact us and those around us.  Anger also arises from hurt: if someone criticizes the way we look we may take personal offense. Their perceived cruelty and lack of regard for our feelings is disconcerting. We feel disrespected and our natural defenses take over, fueling the need to correct them, put them in their place or retaliate with an even more hurtful comment teaching them that we will not tolerate their ill-mannered behaviors. In each of the above examples, anger gives us the momentary feeling of power in a situation where we feel we have lost authority. However, any person or situation that can cause us to react in a manner not beneficial to us actually has more clout that we do. Thoughtful consideration of what feelings and reply are most advantageous actually restores our authentic power. Consider the following alternatives to anger: Compassion: a compassionate response can be the perfect solution to anger. Compassion consists of both understanding and empathy. We can view the individual whose behavior we find unacceptable from a place of understanding. Each person has a right to live life according to their beliefs, dreams, needs, etc. If someone is struggling or acting inappropriately, rather than becoming irate because they are not living up to my ideals, I can remove the "shoulds" (unspoken expectations) and in my heart grant them permission to have the experience they are engaging in, knowing that it is a necessary part of their life's journey. If they are struggling, lost, or in pain, I can choose to feel compassion or sadness for their suffering, hoping that they soon pass through their current challenge to a more joyful place. Being patient and always treating them with kindness (which may include setting some reasonable boundaries) during this time are all components of being compassionate. Choosing this alternative response softens one's heart and prevents anger from manifesting. Humor* is another powerful tool for diffusing anger. We take life far too seriously. We take personal offense to what others are saying or doing rather than remaining emotionally detached. After all, their behavior is a reflection of their internal environment and has nothing at all to do with me. We become agitated when things don't go according to our plans yet in reality a life that conforms precisely to our dictates teaches us nothing. We worry and obsess over that which we have no control over or that which in reality is relatively unimportant. (Ten year rule: will this matter in ten years? Will I even remember it? If not, then it's not important now.) Humor puts any serious situation into its proper perspective. It diffuses fear and angst; it acts as a protective barrier to emotional pain as we recognize that what is transpiring has nothing at all to do with me; and it makes light of that which in reality has no significant value. So when others behave badly, find it in your heart to forgive them for their indiscretions rather that judge them. When life hands you the exact opposite of what you requested, make light of it. After all, this life is only temporary so why get so bend out of shape when it doesn't conform to your ideals? Rain on your wedding day? Break out the umbrellas and boots and dance in the puddles! *Just a note of caution: humor is not intended to be directed at the other party. One can find humor in the situation or make light of their own reaction or behavior. Humor must never direct it at the other person. To do so is disrespectful and may very well make the situation far worse than it is.     Listen to my newest iHeart Radio show, BETWEEN YOU AND GOD, @ http://ow.ly/OADJK Follow me on Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Pinterest, Google+
Read More →

Difficult people - ya gotta love em! Or not. Whether you do or don't, it's a fact of life that they are all around us - in our families, places of employment, communities, social events, and everywhere else. For whatever reasons, we all have personal issues that cause us to behave in ways others may find offensive, challenging or just plain problematic. It is our responsibility to pay close attention not to the other person's behavior but to our own, making sure we are not the one sporting the "Hi, my name is Ob Noxious" nametag. Having ascertained that you are free from fault (in this regard only), short of severing future contact with the individual, how can one deal with someone who is challenging? Here are a few tips that will make interacting with them easier: 1. Ask  yourself, "How important is this person to me at this moment?" Being careful not to devalue them, certain people have greater or lesser significance in our lives. My sister, for instance, matters more to me than a sales clerk in Macy's. If the party in question does not hold great regard in your life, are you willing to simply let the issue slide and walk away? 2. How important is this issue? Will it matter ten years from now? Again, if not, let it go. It is not worth  your time and effort. 3. Can you accept the person as they are? "That's just the way Uncle Joe is. He's never going to change." If you do, you must be at peace with him/her so as not to become resentful and angry later on. 4. Can I change my perception of this person? Instead of "She is so controlling!", can I see her as insecure? A less judgmental  observation allows me to interact with her in a less critical manner. 5. If the party is an important part of my life, I need to set boundaries and guidelines in our relationship to ensure it is as reasonably healthy as possible for all parties. 6. Establish a common ground with them, identify something you both have in common. By doing so, this allows both parties to feel a certain connection and increases the levels of understanding and trust between them. 7. Build trust. Showing genuine interest and concern in them eases their anxieties and fears, allowing them to feel more comfortable in your presence. Once achieved, they will most likely become more cooperative with you. 8. Bring out the best in them. Avoid allowing their bad behavior to influence how you behave. Find some goodness and focus on that. 9. Remember to be fair and open-minded to what they say, believe, and do. Refrain from criticism and judgments, employing understanding and compassion instead. 10. Some of our greatest gifts in life have been the most difficult people who cross our paths. View them as an important teacher who is enabling you to learn and grow. See them as the true blessings they are. While there is much to learn from encountering those who present the greatest challenges to us, it is not imperative that we keep them in our lives. Those who are determined to continue inflicting chaos upon us may be gently released from our lives. We are under no obligation to allow anyone to disrupt our serenity and joy. Wish them well and send them on their way. To order a copy of The Secret Side of Anger or The Great Truth visit http://www.pfeifferpowerseminars.com/pps1-products.html
Read More →

Search
Contact Us

Call Ron or Jill

  1. 916-209-3298
  2. info@mvpseminars.com

Please call us or send us a quick note about how we can assist you in selecting and securing the perfect speakers or business trainers for any event.




Contact Us!