Although I must have been aware of their influence, on some level, before corresponding with PaulVan den Brande – The 4PL Coach from the Just in Time Management Group of Bruges Area, Belgium, https://www.bpma.be – on LinkedIn, I lacked the means to articulate the following limitations regarding attitude. Although my teacher from Belgium shared with me the the following capitalized Attitude barriers, PaulVan den Brande’s thoughts are likely much deeper and more clear than mine, so I feel responsible for telling my readers that the thoughts about how these Attitudes affect me are my own.
Five Attitudes that Efecctively Get In the Way of Effectiveness
What I now understand more clearly is that there are five Attitudes or thought patterns that limit how effective and productive I am. To the extent I eliminate these barrier-creating Attitudes, I am free to feel positive Attitudes that motivate me to do the most I can in the best ways that I can.
Feelings of Inadequacy = Judgment & Non-Accepting Attitudes
My most obvious Attitude oversight that PaulVan den Brande’s capitalized Attitudes clarified for me is that almost to the precise extent I feel inadequate in any particular area, I am JUDGEMENTAL and NON-ACCEPTING especially in that area, but also in other areas as well.
In other words, when performing stand-up comedy or lifting weights at the health club or working on my book, having feelings of inadequacy toward what I’m producing in my current activity results in my being critical toward others. On the other hand, feeling competent moves me to be complimentary and helpful.
Inadequacy Attitudes often Result in Destructive Behavior
Another Attitude I find that accompanies my “occasional” feelings of inadequacy is a tendency to engage in ADAPTIVE BEHAVIOR. Feeling inadequate has a far reaching power that encourages peace and joy destroying behaviors. For example, it is important to me that I treat others as I want to be treated, however feelings of inadequacy compete with my sense of right and wrong. And when I feel inadequate in my current activity, I must fight to keep from compromising my values in order to offset my PERCEIVED INADEQUACY.
Blaming Others, Making Excuses Takes Away Our Attitude of Accountability
The easiest Attitude for me to fall prey to when feeling inadequate is the BLAMING OTHERS Attitude. BLAMING SOMEONE ELSE for my perceived inadequacies is a way of dulling, at least temporarily, the pain of inadequacy. The problem with the BLAMING OTHERS and MAKING EXCUSES Attitudes is they keep me from growing and becoming able to deal with whatever challenge is currently demanding my attention.
Attitudes of Dependency Need to Be Balanced
The tendency to be overly DEPENDENT on others is a tricky Attitude that can appear under the guise of friendship. While friendships can come from relationships of DEPENDENCE, much as friendships can evolve into relationships of DEPENDENCE, the beauty of true friendships is that they exist without DEPENDENCE and they exist in spite of DEPENDENCE.
The two Attitudes I find it necessary to use to eliminate the five negative and potentially devastating Attitudes I just listed are the Attitudes of HUMILITY and ACCEPTANCE. When I can HUMBLY ACCEPT the cards life deals me, the likelihood of my feeling inadequate is considerably less. Despite having been mentioned in previous posts, because of the incredible and far reaching power HUMILITY and ACCEPTANCE, these Attitudes will be my focus in more upcoming posts.
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